A Gonzo Exploration of “The Waste Land”

October 14, 2010

Well, “The Waste Land” was so complicated it caused me to waste valuable time getting a blog up.  As such, I’ve deemed it fit to combat T. S. Eliot’s nonsensical stylings with a style based on a big influence on my writing and thought, Hunter S. Thompson! If you have a sensitive stomach, extreme constervative ideals or affiliations, or are under the age of ten, I suggest you just listen to Eliot’s droll reading of his poem and skip my wit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tqK5zQlCDQ

Now that I’m done with the riff-raff, I found the poem scouring on Google and taking a look through it.  Holy crap, that’s long! Is these T. S. Eliot or the Dead Sea Scroll?! Well, let’s get to it then.  And we’re starting off with an epigraph here.  Dear God, what is this jibberish? Greek? Is this crap in Klingon?!  I’m holding it up to a mirror and it’s still not making sense!!! Maybe it’ll make more sense listening to that audio link? After all, I provided it for you and it is the author’s work in his own words.  I may as well utilise my own resources.

And now I’m listening to the link.  Eliot’s voice sounds like a British Morgan Freeman.  Kinda soothing, really.  I could just tune out the words.  Though he sounds just as bored as I am trying to read it.  What does that say about his own writing?! Aaand now he’s sounding like a pretentious douchebag.  What a surprise! So deadpan… DEAR GOD MAKE IT STOP!!!! MAKE IT STOP, JESUS CHRIST!!!!!!!!!

I suppose that’s a punishment for attempting to take the easy way out, then? Truthfully, I can’t get past that epigraph any more than I can write like Thompson.  But if I could write like Thompson, this blog would be a lot more entertaining.  Similarly, if Eliot didn’t write like a pretentious twit then this poem would be less painful to read.  Unprofessional? You’d better believe it, but I can see why people lose hope in their declaration as an English major after even the first few lines.  Looking at the poem, it doesn’t get much better.  I’ve not lost faith in my major, just Eliot for now.  I’m sure I’ll appreciate it at some point later in life, but as a man whose roots lie in the beat and gonzo movemements, I can’t tolerate this cut and dry, art school schtick.  Many people believe that if God were alive today, he’s be a homeless person or a hippie.  I can’t tell you about Satan, but T. S. Eliot is the next best thing and he would be a hipster! I believe that the recent internet video “Interior Semiotics” (WARNING! EXTREME EXPLICIT CONTENT “FOR ART’S SAKE”.  LOOK IT UP YOURSELF, I’M NOT POSTING THE LINK HERE) comes closest to matching Eliot’s pretentious massacre of literature.  Guess who made that video? Hipsters.  If anyone says they understand “The Waste Land” or “Interior Semiotics” then they’re full of shit.

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